“Have To” vs. “Get To” — Tiny Shift, Total Identity Upgrade
Want a ridiculously simple trick to shift your mood, energy, and brain chemistry in 2 seconds flat?
Stop saying “I have to.”
Start saying “I get to.”
Your language is the GPS for your nervous system.
“Have to” signals pressure, burden, obligation.
“Get to” signals privilege, presence, gratitude.
Your brain? It’s always listening.
So if you’re walking around muttering “Ugh, I have to do XYZ,” guess what your system hears?
Punishment. Drudgery. Resistance.
But say “I get to,” and suddenly the exact same task feels like a choice. An opportunity. A flex.
🧠 It’s Not Woo. It’s Wiring.
I’ve been practicing this shift for years. Since before the pandemic. And it’s still one of the fastest ways I get myself back into alignment.
The reframe works because your subconscious believes your voice more than anything else. So when you start narrating your life with “get to,” you’re retraining your brain to find the gift in what you’d normally resist.
Laundry? You get to wear clean clothes.
Working late? You get to contribute to something bigger than you.
Groceries? You get to nourish your body.
Even a tough convo? You get to practice emotional maturity and clarity.
There are people who would love to live your exact day.
You don’t have to be fake grateful. Just aware.
🛠 Quick Tools to Lock This In
- Interrupt the autopilot.
Catch yourself mid “I have to…” and switch it. Out loud. Right now.
- Start your day with “I get to…”
Write or say 3 things. Set the tone.
- Use it in convos.
Normalize gratitude. Rewire your baseline.
- Anchor it to tasks you dread.
Especially the boring or annoying ones. That’s where the magic lives.
✍🏼 Journal Prompts
- What are 5 things I say “have to” about that I could reframe into “get to”?
- What shifts in my energy when I use “get to” instead?
- Where do I notice resistance in my day—and what deeper gratitude is available there?
- What does “I get to live this life” mean to me right now?
🎯 Your Move Today
Pick one “ugh” task you’ve been putting off.
Say out loud: “I get to do this.”
Then do it with intention—and watch what happens to your energy.
Your life isn’t a punishment.
It’s a privilege. Start acting like it. 💥